There was a moment at the breakfast table recently, when my daughter randomly said: “So, who actually IS God?”
“Well…..” I responded, taking a sip of coffee, buying time to find an appropriate and easily digestible answer before her WeetBix got soggy.
“You see…he’s not a HE but she’s not a SHE. God is a feeling, a spirit, a moment in time, an expression, a sensation, a comfort, a joy, a leader, a teacher. God is the creator of all living things… if that’s what you want to believe.”
She mulled it over between mouthfuls and then said: “So does God still exist? Like, wander around and stuff. Didn’t Jesus actually wander around and eat breaky and live on the earth? And isn’t God supposed to be his dad?”
Hmm. Tough one.
And so the conversation went on. With her limited knowledge of the Christian religion and my very lapsed-Catholic-turned-naturalist-spiritualist-sometimes-not-really-sure explantation, we limped to a place where she was happy enough to leave it alone and, instead, start discussing the pros and cons of footless tights versus stirrup tights for circus training!
So the unexpected chit-chat got me thinking. About my beliefs, my relationship to God/spirit and of course my work.
Firstly, I realised that I find ‘god’ (read: joy/happiness/light/life) in unexpected places. Not necessarily in a place of worship (goodness knows it’s been a long time since I stepped inside a church, other than for taking a stickybeak – a la Sacre Coeur in Paris and Salisbury Cathedral in England), or during a time of prayer (because I don’t pray).
I find my version of God…
…in a mother’s smile, a child’s laugh, a cat’s purr, a dog’s tail wag…in a connecting glance…in a moment of unexpected honesty…at the beach…in the first pages of a book…in an art gallery…in a dancer’s movement…in a finished blog post…in a freshly brewed coffee…in a great big belly laugh…in an overwhelming sadness….in an unexpected gift…in the tears brought on by a horse movie…in a piece of exquisite chocolate …and in cuddles with family…
There are so many places you can find your god – something Miss 8 is yet too young to really understand. My hope, of course, is that she will discover her own version before she needs it most.
One of the other places I find my ‘god’ is in the story.
The story that helps you find yourself. The story that is so familiar, so moving and yet so distant to your awareness. The story that brings you home. The story that reveals yourself to yourself.
When I hear someone tell a story, even though it’s their experience and their perspective, they often can’t see it for what it is. They can’t see the impact it’s had on them. But I can. I can tell them their story as I’ve heard it, and they see the details and lessons with fresh eyes. They see who they are and they understand their place in the world.
It’s very healing and empowering and often provides incredible direction and motivation. It’s a shining example of my kind of ‘god’.
I’m very humbled and excited to be a part of the process.
Where do you find your version of the big G?